A quick search of the word “flow” gives the following definition:The action of moving along in a steady, continuous stream.

Water flows. Electricity flows. Ideas can even flow. When things flow—there is movement and there is a purpose. No stagnation. No blockages.

So, friend, how are your days flowing?

Why F.L.O.W.?

A few years ago, I was working with my mentor and she asked if I felt like I was in my flow. I was feeling stuck in so many areas of my life. I was in my early 40s, juggling homeschooling, working from home, some health issues (me and two of my kids), and was feeling disconnected from my passions and purpose.

I was most definitely not going with my flow.

As a writer and avid journaler and a lover of acronyms, I sat down one Sunday morning and wrote out the word FLOW. I proceeded to play around with the letters and brainstormed.

From there, I came up with a concept of Homeschool F.L.O.W. and while that served me for a season, I found that I needed FLOW in all areas of my life. I needed to start with me and my needs so that I could show up in my life in stronger and more connected ways.

When I shared my concept of Finding Your F.LO.W. I was pleased to see how it resonated with friends (both in real life and in my Instagram community). Over the last year or so, it’s become my passion and my anchor.

Ready to F.L.O.W.? Let’s go!

Finding Your F.L.O.W.

Feed your body in a way that honors your unique self

I have tried nearly every diet on the planet. I’ve been on a health and wellness journey for two decades. From wanting to lose weight or to balance my hormones or to eat “clean”--I’ve done it all. And you know what? I would feel better for a short period of time but I never found one particular diet or method that I could consistently live with and feel good about day in and day out.

What does it mean to feed your body in a way that honors your unique self? For me, it means going back to a Mediterrean-style way of eating, as I am 100% Italian. It means nourishing my body with foods that sustain my 40-something year old body. It means asking my body what she wants before each meal. It means eating high-quality dark chocolate every single day. It means not berating myself for food choices.

If this sounds challenging, it is! I have worked with a mentor who specializes in this area, and it really helped. Research intuitive eating. Ask for help if needed. Write down a list of foods that make you feel good! Grab some new cookbooks or visit some new food blogs. Make a few new recipes. Try some new fruits and veggies the next time you go grocery shopping.

When you start feeding yourself well, your energy levels will increase and you’ll enjoy food more.

Love yourself and lean into your season of life

I don’t know what season of life you’re in right now. I don’t know what’s working for you and what is causing struggles. I do know this: when we constantly wish for things to be different, or for our lives to just slow down or change in order for us to finally get it together, we will be miserable. We will constantly live in the past or pine for the future. We will miss out on the present and what is in front of us.

Our lives, like the seasons, shift. Sometimes, the shift is subtle and sometimes it’s fast and furious. How can you love yourself and lean into your current season? What are you doing to take care of you and your needs?

Find something small each day that nourishes you—mind, body and spirit. You get to decide what this is. You get to make the choice.

Take a walk outside alone and listen to your favorite music or podcast.

Call a friend and talk and laugh and cry and feel better.
Read a book that delights you or transports you.
Eat something delicious. Do not share it.
Write in your journal or draw or sketch.
Knit or cross-stitch.

I have experienced dark seasons of life. I have been on the bathroom floor crying and I have had to walk out of my house to catch my breath. I have wondered if life would ever feel “normal” again. Self-care is not something that has to be complicated or reserved for when you’re already burned out. No, it must be something you actively make space for every day--no matter what season of your life you’re in. Take two minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes. Love yourself right now in this moment and lean into your life.

Own your time and space

How’s your space? Is there a good vibe? Do you bring beauty into your home?

I have been the mom who lets everything just go and moves from day to day with whatever messes are around until eventually I got so frustrated, I turned into a cleaning machine. I have been the mom that cleans every single day on a rigid schedule in order to keep the house looking like we don’t live in it at all.

I finally found a happy medium where I brought the family on board to help with daily contributions, I’ve let things go (like the constant nagging for kids to clean their rooms), and I’ve taken it upon myself to create soothing and functional spaces in our home.

Speaking of soothing spaces--I highly recommend you have at least one space that is just for you. This doesn’t have to be an entire room. It could be a shelf you decorate with special photos, flowers, essential oils, etc. It could be an area in your kitchen or a desk--get creative!

How’s your time? Do you feel like you’re running from one activity to the next? Are your days a blur that end with you collapsing into bed?

I struggle with time management. It is not my strong suit. I tend to be more free form and less structured. However, not having a routine was actually leading to more stress.

I realized that I need to OWN my time. I needed to set up boundaries, as much as possible, for homeschool, my work, family time, and for my own self-care. It can be done. It takes some planning. It takes asking for help. It takes sharing with your family or friends or community what you are saying NO to and what you saying YES to in the particular season you’re in right now.

Weed out what’s not working and welcome something new

Now that you’ve committed to owning your time and space, it’s time to weed out what’s not working for you. What is taking up too much of your time? What is not bearing fruit?

Put everything on the table: activities, meal plans (or lack of ones), chores, jobs, classes—anything goes! You get to be the director. You can work your schedule to best serve your needs. This might be hard for you and your family—especially if you’re used to doing all the things. Start pruning. Get some white space and breathing room for the things that do matter and the things that do bring joy. It will bring a sense of relief and potentially open the door to new opportunities.

What is one thing you’ve wanted to start doing? Name it and then find a way to add it into your life. For me, it’s been daily mindful movement and starting a life coach certification program. I had to step away from some other opportunities in my life to make this work and also had to get the family on board.

Putting It All Together: Bringing FLOW into Your Daily Life

The beautiful thing about finding your flow is that it can evolve over time. It is not stagnant. It is not rigid. There is a natural ebb and flow to life. We must continue to cultivate, lean in and love, own our time and space, and weed out what’s not serving us. Go with your FLOW and create a life that supports you each day.

Vanessa Wright.jpg — Bio

Vanessa Wright is a writer, speaker, and a homeschooling mom to three loud and curious teens. She loves books, journals, hot tea, and high quality dark chocolate. She is passionate about helping women find their F.L.O.W. and connecting with others. She and her family live in the Raleigh, North Carolina area. She can be found on Instagram at @vanessawrightwrites.